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    May 20

    边走边想之一

    我属于一边上路一边叫喊的那种。当年小平就骂过我,说你能不能不发牢骚。有时候觉得自己想得挺高深,有时候又觉得感叹一堆招人厌。我可能患上了自剖综合症。不停地挖掘自身所谓的“劣根性”。其实上大学以后老师们都劝过我们不要轻易“思考”,这样又耗心力又不能解决实际问题,而且导致你活得累。我再刨根究底一下,估计跟小时候家里的教育观有很大关系:出了任何问题,根本不要找客观原因,就从自己身上找原因,自己检讨。不管是与人相处还是学业方面遇到的问题。首先怪自己,没用的才把责任推给别人。

    这样好处自然是有拉,老师觉得你这孩子教的真好,从来不找借口,不推责任。同学们也觉得你好相处,什么事都不会生别人的气。现在代价也暴露出来了,就是压力都堆在自己身上。

    这世上本来就没有万全的事,再好的药也有副作用。毕竟我可以光明磊落地活着,问心无愧地说我是个坦荡的好人。就这一点,已经很不容易了

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